Normality is suspended until further notice. Everything you thought you knew is wrong.
Will you evolve? Or die on the hill of your own creation?
What ideas of your self must you slough off in order to flourish on the other side?
A useful first step would be to admit that the pain that keeps you small comes from a secret, taboo desire for rejection and humiliation (and that’s OK! It is perfectly acceptable to get taboo pleasure from those things; ask any domme/dom).
NOTE! If the pain you are experiencing comes from racism, misogyny, ableism, homophobia, or any other ingrained systemic prejudice, please fully disregard my previous sentence. This taboo secret desire is only really applicable where people are experiencing pain and difficulty on an individual level rather than a community level.
Assuming that this is in fact the result of a deeply held secret desire, then celebrate. Your ache is being fulfilled.
It has been my experience, through the practice of Existential Kink, that the more we give ourselves permission to take deep pleasure, to positively revel in the electricity of our most ’not-wanted’ feelings…
… the more we celebrate our virtuoso ability to create circumstances that deeply trigger those feelings that we ‘most-definitely-positively-absolutely-do-not-ever-want’…
… the more we adore and take joy in this beautiful incarnation and our adorable obsession with duality (the whole notion of ‘good feelings’ and ‘bad feelings’, or ‘want’ and ‘do not want’ as a perfect example)…
…the more that energy of fear transmutes into beauty.
